break-up · broken · LGBT · Long Distance Relationship · Love · Love Advice · Poem · Quotation · Quote · Random Thoughts · relationship · Uncategorized

The “Whys?”

I’m just done watching My Ex and Whys .(Our Local Movie here in Philippines  – if you mind to watch it eventually, search it with english subtitles) Even though I’m not kind of person who patronized cliché  filipino movies, I can’t also deny that few of them somehow a little brilliant on different horizon.

My Ex and Whys  depicts obviously all about a second time around, a conflict get cleared between former lovers that eventually getting back in the end ( happy endings LoL ). But mostly it’s all about a promise you abode but failed to commit. Taking risk to trust again – Broken promises in short. But the things really caught me and get me into a tearjerking state was the line – a questions lingering by the main character, who suffering from pain of dishonesty and cheating. A questions about what things she miss or insufficient to exert. And a questions why she need to suffer with those pain? To point it affects the way she lived and perceived.
You know, I’m actually on that present state (kind of) – many questions buggling me through my head and a little intution. In my case, although I’ve had enough with him already, accepted the reality, and forgave him to things  he’d done to me ( even though he never say sorry to me. Well,idk if he’s playing non-chalant or naive or just an ordinary f*ckboy ) I’m still asking myself why he need to do that to me? I just want to spill out the beans and ask many things but I don’t know how to begin. It’s not easy on my part – I’m still in pain every time I see him, feeling his presence on my premises , and hearing his name spoken by somebody.

But the movie taught me as well that instead asking yourself different questions, don’t look the answer that it will just hurt you or not – but live like the answer just always in front of you. Live because you are the answer. Because we are the better half of somebody – a missing chunk of ones life.

Because of that,I’m sound pity but I believe time heal me, little by little. And somehow worthy to my heart and trust.

He is ideal, the one I was dreaming about, my ideal type of relationship and I though that would be – but he just tore it. He demobilized my perfect fantasy and he turn it into surreality. Bad. Oh well, I don’t need to think about it anymore (I guess). But I know, I’m a good sport I keen myself in good disposition in all circumstances.

I’m okay. I know that – it’s time to “REALLY” let him go. Thank You my ex and whys (drama..).

Just last word. Don’t afraid to be hurt again. 

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